Untitled Document

Journals

March 8th through March 31, 2007

When I started this journal earlier this month it was my intent to make daily entries. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond my control have prohibited me from doing so. What follows is some of what has transpired and other things which may come to mind as I’m writing. So settle down, get comfortable and let’s have a one way conversation of sorts.

In January of this year I was diagnosed with Diabetic Retinopathy. This is a condition which can lead to blindness if left untreated. It affects the small blood vessels at the back of the eye. From reading various materials downloaded from some of the websites of major hospitals and clinics I've been able to learn more about this disease. Nevertheless, I find this to be a frightening experience. I can't even imagine how it would be to lose my sight. It would be the end of my abilities to read and write. I was first diagnosed with Diabetes in 1998, but the ophthalmologist who examined me in January said that I've been a diabetic for at least fifteen years based upon the degree of damage he found in my eyes. I take four injections of insulin daily and have done so for over eight years. So far there are no definite plans on when the surgery will be conducted on my eyes. From all accounts the best prognosis I can hope for is to stop any further damage and deterioration of my vision. There's nothing which will repair the impairment of my vision which has already occurred. Needless to say, my mind has been preoccupied with this issue.

I recently received a Court Order from the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit in Chicago. I have an appeal pending in that court. In April of 2001 I filed a Civil Rights Complaint in the United States District Court. for the Southern District of Indiana alleging that my First Amendment Rights had been and were being violated because prison officials at the behest of Attorney Generals Janet Reno and John Ashcroft had prohibited all Federal Death Row inmates from being interviewed by any members of the news media. This media ban was instituted after Timothy McVeigh’s interview with CBS 60 Minutes was conducted in February, 2000. It actually aired during the sweeps week in March, 2000. It, wasn't until April, 2001 that the new media restrictions were announced at a news conference held by Ashcroft and former Federal Bureau of Prisons Director Kathleen Hawk-Sawyer. Ashcroft also announced that victims and victim's families would be allowed to witness McVeigh’s execution by way of a live video feed. Ashcroft stated that he would prohibit death row prisoners from being interviewed and that he wouldn’t allow a mass murder to purchase access to the public podium with the blood of 168 innocent men, women and children. The First Amendment protects the rights of all Americans to speak freely, even those convicted of crimes. Ashcroft. clearly indicated that his intent was to restrict free speech. In court papers he and the other two defendants e.g. Hawk-Sawyer and former United States Penitentiary - Terre Haute Warden Harley G. Lappin, claim the media restrictions are required to insure the security operations of the institution and to protect the privacy of prison staff and other death row inmates.
After years in the U.S. District Court the Judge granted summary judgment to the defendants in February 2006. I subsequently took an appeal to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit. Now before any of you Staunch Conservatives get bent out of shape about the cost of this litigation, let it be known that yours truely paid every dime of the filing fees (over $400) and all of the related costs myself. No tax payer money was spent on this suit. Now having reviewed the briefs filed by me and the Government, a three judge panel of the Seventh Circuit has decided to appoint an attorney to represent me on this appeal as it was determined that oral arguments would materially assist the court in deciding the issues presented on appeal. That is the order I wrote about earlier. This is a positive development because it shows that the appeal has merit or the court would have just denied the appeal without arguments as is the case with the majority of lawsuits filed by inmates. I'm not suggesting that the eventual outcome come of the appeal will be. It's possible that I may lose, but I prefer to think positively. I have fought this battle for six years already and am willing to fight I court for as long as it takes and as far as it takes including to the United States Supreme Court. Free Speech is the bedrock of this country. The answer to free speech which may be offending is not less free speech, it's more. I've heard this forever. My fight to have access to the news media is not because I am seeking publicity for myself, but rather it is because I believe that death row prisoners have a right to speak out about their cases and their conditions of confinement. The restrictions currently in place prohibit federal death row inmates from speaking with the media about their innocence. Numerous innocent prisoners have been released from prison after investigations by journalists and others. Deplorable prison conditions have been ordered changed by the courts after having been reported by the media. This unit where I am confined has several severely mentally ill inmates who are close to being executed. Under the current media restrictions none of us can contact the media about these sick men. Why? That's the question which must be ask, because there is surely no good answer. We can’t even speak out against the death penalty in contact with the media. At some point we plan to place the legal briefs and papers online here for your review. It’s a time consuming task and André is plenty busy with his webmaster duties as they are now. I will continue to report development in the lawsuit here in these pages. Anyone interested in assisting me with this lawsuit can contact me by regular mail at my postal address listed on the site.

My efforts to see the truth told about the Oklahoma City Bombing are ongoing. In legal documents filed in the United States District Court in Salt Lake City, Utah we have placed the FBI on notice that we have information about their involvement in Oklahoma City. I have been in touch with victims' family members who have thanked me for coming forward. They are concerned about my personal safety. In an article published on March 24th in the Salt Lake Tribune (click here to read the article) it states that the U.S. Government Prosecutors are totally against letting the truth be told by way of Sworn Video Depositions. Convicted Oklahoma City Bomber Terry Nichols also provided a sworn declaration about others involved in the bombing. One can only wonder if the truth will ever see the light of day in this case.

On March 20th I was physically assaulted by Senior Officer Specialist Thomas Stanley. This occurred when I exited my cell for a two hour recreation period. I took out some items including my medication and a plastic mug which was full of ice and water. It is clear plastic and the contents were clearly visible. The Officer In Charge approved the items and I was walking towards the stairs (when a second officer, the one who had placed the handcuffs on my wrists behind my back. I have a front cuff order because of a serious shoulder injury suffered previously, I am supposed to have my hands cuffed in the front. Officer Stanley searched my bag and determined that the clear plastic mug of ice and water were prohibited items for recreation. Even though the O.I.C. had already approved them. He grabbed the handcuffs when I refused to go without my mug. He twisted the hand- handcuffs cuffs injuring my shoulder and causing my wrists to bleed. He shoved my head into a steel stair railing and attempted to throw me to the ground. The attack was unprovoked and demonstrates the cowardly nature of the officer involved. He added insult to in- injury when he issued an incident report against me for assault on a staff member. While he was twisting the handcuff my head went backwards and he claims I head butted him with the back of my head striking him in the forehead. It was pure instinct he was hurting my previously dislocated shoulder causing intense pain by reflex my head went back. Prison officials have sent the incident report to the FBI for possible prosecution. There's no doubt that I will be punished for what happened. In 30 years of imprisonment I’ve never assaulted any staff member and my record reflects this fact. My attorneys and I have asked that the video tapes from the security video cameras be saved as evidence. The incident was also witnessed by two other inmates with an unobstructed view. I've ask that an investigation be undertaken to prove my side of what transpired on that afternoon. It's doubtful they will do anything about the officer's behavior. I can only hope that they will. He was removed from working on the unit, but this was an already scheduled rotation of work assignments, not as a result of his actions. Some documents relating to this even have been or will soon be posted here. Several of my friends who learned about the incident second and third hand have launched a letter writing campaign (click here to view some letters) seeking an investigation by prison officials and others into this assault. I do thank each of you for your efforts on my behalf.

I was thinking about an experience which has stayed with me for many many years. Back in 1977 while incarcerated in the Oklahoma County Jail, in Oklahoma City awaiting a court appearance I was a very frightened youngster of eighteen. It was my first time being in jail for more than a few hours. We were allowed to purchase commissary items once a week. Our cells were housed in a 40 man tank (I have no idea why it was called a tank because it was more like a steel box). One day this big Native American came into the tank. He was close to seven feet tall and must have weighed at least three hundred pounds. His hands were gigantic his head was shaved and this was the scariest dude I'd ever seen. My cell had four bunks, two upper and two bottom and was located at the far end of the tier. I shared it with a guy in his early twenties named Gary. Well one afternoon I returned to the cell to find Chief (the Native American claimed to be a Tribal Chief and no-one disputed him on this so he was known simply as Chief) setting on Gary's bunk with his commissary items spread out on the bunk. Gary had a thing for Oreo Cookies and had ordered some from the commissary. I looked around and ask Chief where Gary was. He replied that he was in the shower. Now without being hurtful I have to say Chief just wasn't playing with a full deck. He was slow and that's being generous. In no time at all Chief was eating Gary 's Oreos. I stood not sure what to do but knowing damn well I wasn't going to tell this dude he couldn’t eat those cookies. About that time Gary returns turns from the shower dressed in his boxers and drying his hair. He stepped into the cell and spies ole' Chief eating those Oreos. Gary looked at me like "what in the hell's going on here?" He looked from Chief to me and back again several times. Chief looked up with a big old smile from ear to ear and said to Gary "Man do you want one of these Oreos, they sure are good?" To which Gary replied “No man, I’m good." I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. The look on Gary's face was one of shock, anger, disbelief and fear. We both laughed for a long time when recounting the situation long after Chief had made his exit. Under normal circumstances one would be forced to stand up and confront someone caught pilfering through his belongings. In this instance Gary took the only prudent course of action available to him. Existing in prison is like winding one's way through a mine field. The slightest mishap and you can find yourself dead or worse. Trust me, there are things worse than death in here.

The month of March brought two new arrivals here to the row. I don't know much about either of them they are housed on different tiers than I am. I do know that we have four more who will be arriving within the next month or so. Alberto Gonzales is in some heavy political shit right now so maybe he will have to resign. During his two year tenure as Attorney General Death Authorization for federal death penalty cases has been on the rise. I guess that must be his good ole' Texas roots shinning through. He and George W. Bush did plenty of killing down in Texas while W was governor. Only thing positive I can think of to say about this guy is maybe his Mother loved him.

Well that's about all for this time. It is my plan to write daily entries for a while so I hope y'all will come on back and share some time reading this journal. If any of you have specific questions you want me to respond to in these pages then send then to me not by e-mail, but rather by the Postal Service at the address listed on this site. I’ll respond to any and all such questions or subjects. So until next time. Peace.

March 7, 2007

Another day has passed and the routine stays the same. That's all apart of prison. The sameness day after day. Even the slightest change in routine is a blessing for some and a curse for others. A typical day here on the row is something along the lines of the following. Breakfast is served in our cells usually between 5:30 and 5:00 a.m. Recreation periods start at 8:00 a.m. and run 'til 10:00 or so. Lunch is served around 10:45 a.m.; we have a schedule which allows for out of cell exercise three days per week in two hour increments. My recreation schedule is currently Sunday- 8:00-10:00 a.m., Tuesday 1:30-3:30 p.m., Thursday 8:00-10:00 a.m. I'm allowed to recreate with other prisoners from my tier, but in separate recreation pens which resemble dog kennels. There are also some indoor recreation areas which have a stationary bike and stair stepper for exercise. Now before any of you hard ass lock 'm up and throw away the key law and order types get your dandra up, all of this equipment is bought and paid for with the profits made off of our commissary purchases and telephone calls. Not one penny of tax payer dollars goes towards this stuff. The same goes for the 13" black and white TV. sets we have in our cells. Prison officials are so concerned over public perception that they have to special order black and white TV’s at a cost of what you could buy the same size color TV at your local Wal-Mart store. This happened after Timothy McVeigh bragged about setting back watching color TV. all day in an interview he gave prior to his execution in 2001. On days when I don't have recreation or afterwards I go to the law library or typing room where I work on legal cases for my fellow inmates. I spend as much time out of my cell as possible. We are allowed up to four social visits per month. A total of four people can come at a time to visit each inmate for up to several hours. There are three visiting booths available for 75 inmates on the Special Confinement Unit. These are all non contact visiting areas. We are never allowed any physical contact with any of our social visitors. All visits must be scheduled at least one week in advance. We are only allowed to visit with friends or family who we knew prior to our incarceration. I've been incarcerated going on thirty years; there are not many people still around who I knew way back then. The evening meal is served around 3:30 p.m. each day. We are provided cleaning supplies once a week and toilet paper twice a week. We have access to a book cart several times per week. Commissary is ordered on Wednesday and delivered on Thursday. We are no longer allowed to attend any religious services on the row. The Conservative death penalty supporting Supervisory Chaplain stopped all such services last year. We are allowed to place five- fifteen minute telephone calls per week. Telephone calls can be prepaid at the rate of $3.45 for a fifteen minute call or a collect call can be made at, the cost of $9.45 per call. We are allowed to have up to two visits per month with a clergy person or minister of record. The visits with a clergy member count against your four social visits. Legal visits with attorneys and their staff are allowed with no restrictions providing there's a visiting booth open. These visits are most usually scheduled in advance unless an emergency arises. That's a brief run down of life here on the row.

March 6, 2007

I read a story recently about some inmates in a prison in Tennessee who took some hostages and held them for several hours before releasing them. They exchanged the hostages for some cigarettes. It seems that they were housed in a facility where smoking isn't allowed. Most jails and prisons are smoke free these days. All I can say is that those boys must have had one hell of a tobacco habit. I imagine they likely receive an ass whippin' to go with those smokes. The SORT Team don't take kindly to their fellow officers being snatched up as hostages. Trust me; I'm speaking from personal experience here. I took some folk’s hostage a couple of times. The repercussions weren’t pretty. I have the scars to remind me. Being locked up can cause a man to act in ways he never dreamed. I've witnessed more violence and depravity than I care to remember. Prison is like that, and it can create some real monsters. Men find a way to deal with their demons. Some do so by hurting others, especially if they can find some weak prey to devour.

March 5, 2007

I guess human beings everywhere share some of the same traits no matter where they are. Today the psychologist made his weekly rounds. It was some new guy who doesn't usually come to this unit. One of the guys responded in a way that was amusing. Now keep in mind that I wrote previously about these drive-by evaluations to assess how one is functioning on death row. The exchange went something like this. How are you today Mr. Smith? Not so good Doc. Well, what seems to be the problem? I'm seeing big green monsters while I'm awake and in my dreams. How long have you been having this problem? Ever since your brother psychologist gave me that test last week. He ask me what I'd do if I was walking down a dark alley and a big green monster suddenly appeared and blocked my way out. I told him that I'd pull out my Flame Thrower and burn the monster to death. He then ask me where did you get the Flame Thrower to which I replied the same place you got the big green monster!!!!!!! The psychologist said that’s pretty clever, but why are you still seeing green monsters now, have you tried drawing it so you can show it to us? Nope I sure haven’t, don’t need to 'cause he's right here and I can show him to you if you really want to see him. Sure, that might help me to help you. The inmate walked to his shower, he was dressed only in white boxer shorts and a tee shirt, he turned around towards his cell door where the psychologist stood peering into the cell. With a smile on his face and his penis in his hand fully aroused he asks the doctor “have you ever seen a bigger, greener snake monster than this one here?" The psychologist turned red stammered something like OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING, and jumped back from the cell door like he had just been shocked with a cattle prod. The guys on the tier all laughed and started to tease the doctor about seeing ole' Charlie’s big green monster. This wasn't the first time he'd told that story. The psychologist couldn't get off the tier quick enough.

March 4, 2007

Today has been a good day. I received a visit from one of my good friends. He comes regularly. We visit all day and the time passes. His schedule is such that it takes a sacrifice for him to visit here. Traveling and such. It feels good to laugh and to hear about life on the outside. I've often written about how I live vicariously through the experiences of my friends. I'm fortunate that they share so much with me. I recently took a trip to Belize through my friend Sam. We spent a week there. Since he is from Michigan (it was cold and it was below zero when he flew out of the Kalamazoo airport) the trip to a tropical location was pure heaven. His written words and numerous photographs allowed me to be apart of this magnificent trip which he has waited a lifetime to make. Having spent the past 29 years and 2 months in prison I’ve not personally experienced much outside of prison walls.

It seems that the war in Iraq is getting worse every day. I find it a challenge to watch news coverage of all the senseless destruction and loss of life. I suppose it's only a matter of time until good ole' George W. gets this country into yet another war. That is unless someone stops him. I strongly support our troops who are serving this country, but the politicians who make the decisions to create wars and sacrifice our men and women need to be held accountable. We have lost so many lives in this war. Add to that nearly 25,000 injured, many severely, and you have a frightening picture. I pray for all involved. My Nephew Andy who will turn 29 in July is currently serving his third Lour of duty in Iraq. His wife and young daughter are in Georgia waiting for his return. He was injured during his second tour but not seriously. I worry about him and all of the others who are fighting for George W's bullshit reasons. It's past time to have our troops redeployed back home to their families and friends.

March 3, 2007

I was up early this morning attempting to watch the sun rise. Our cell windows are covered with some sort of configuration which distorts the view. It's intentional so as to prevent us from seeing outside, or from cell to cell in adjacent buildings. This doesn’t make any sense as the indoor recreation rooms have an extra large window which allows a complete unobstructed view of the other buildings, prison grounds and other areas. Just what purpose is served by this obstructed view from the cells is difficult to understand. What adds even more insanity to this situation is that our cell windows have a half inch area around the window which allows an unobstructed albeit small field of vision outside. It was through this that I watched as daylight engulfed this place.

The sounds in the early morning as other people rise to meet the day consists of so many noises that they blend together to create a soothing sense of normalcy. In this environment one learns to detect when something is off. As I stood at the window I subconsciously noticed that a sound was missing. It took several minutes before I realized that there was no air blowing through the vent which brings fresh air into the cell. Then I noticed how cold my cell had become. It wasn't long before others on the tier were asking one another if their cell had heat. Any change in the normal routine can become a crisis for some of my fellow prisoners. I couldn't help from laughing out loud at some of the conversations over the temporary lack of heat. I mean it's not as if it was really cold in our cells. More than anything else it was something unexpected. People can easily become accustomed to things being just a certain way and they panic over the slightest change. It wasn't long before one guy was banging on his cell door to summon an officer “We don’t have any heat." Come on, it’s not as if we were freezing. It took several hours for the heat to come back on. Afterwards, I spent an hour attempting to convince my friend (Jack) that the lack of heat wasn’t some type of conspiracy launched by government officials to induce him into dropping his appeals or punishment for his sins. (Jack isn't his real name, but I see no point in publicizing who he is, God knows he has enough problems to deal with already.)

March 2, 2007

I was awaken this morning to the food wicket in my cell door being unlocked. The sound of jingling keys and the voices of the guards warned me that something was in the works' still groggy with sleep I walked to the door. "Hammer, have you studied for this test” I was ask. To which I replied "what in the hell are you talking about?” Good morning, rise and shine 'cause we’re here to give you a piss test! That’s about what was said. Now I haven’t done any drugs in over eleven years so providing a urine sample for drug testing doesn't bother me in the least, but getting up first thing in the morning for it sort a pissed me off. Especially since I've been tested six times since October. These tests are supposed to be random. Bullshit!!! Well I submitted my plastic bottle full of piss to be sent away for testing. Talk about a waste of government resources. These folks never cease to amaze me. I wonder what the rest of my day will entail? If I'm lucky maybe I'll get to see some prison psychologist do his weekly rounds. How are you today Mr. so-n-so". Like they really care. It's very entertaining to hear some of the conversations. I've concluded that these drive-by cell-door evaluations serve no purpose whatsoever. I mean if someone was in need of psychological counseling what's the likelihood that he's going to talk at the cell door where his conversation can be overheard by everyone else on the tier? ZIP! When this fact is pointed out to the psychological staff they just sort of shrug their shoulders and move on. Under such conditions their services are not used. So the monthly SCU (Special Confinement Unit) psychological evaluations show no mentally ill inmates. Anyone with common sense can see that several inmates on this unit are most definitely in need of treatment and mediation.

March 1, 2007

What a day this has been news wise. Tornadoes touched down in several states killing one young girl in Missouri and eight high school students in Enterprise, Alabama. Another tornado hit in Georgia destroying a hospital. If high schools and hospitals aren't safe from the wrath of Mother Nature then I guess nowhere is. I’m amazed at some of the stories told by survivors of this storm system.

Here on the row things are pretty much the same. There was some good news for us to savor. There are no longer any men under an active execution date. Four men have been held under death watch status for months and months. Bruce Webster received a stay last week. The other three guys have had an indefinite stay for months. The powers that be finally decided to allow them to move back in to the regular sections of the row. Having the specter of impending death hovering around doesn’t do much for the morale of those confined here. With all of the legal challenges attacking the use of lethal injection as a method of execution it may be some time before any more executions are conducted here. Some news reports have called this a moratorium on the federal death penalty. Unfortunately that isn't the case as other men have been sentenced to death in recent months. A new arrival is expected any day now. Two others are awaiting formal sentencing and several federal death penalty trials are underway right now.